My Fellow Americans,
It has come to my attention that the emotional turmoil regarding the results of this past election has been quite extensive. I feel that it is my duty to address this and help to calm your troubled heart. First of all, I am so glad that you are all upset that I did not win also feeling your pain. Upon further reflection I have come to see that it is probably best that my term as POTUS is not this go round. It must have been divine intervention. I thought that potty training my twins was a good reason to want it so much. (this is still a valid reason in my mind, because poop) I was not thinking far enough ahead.
I did some soul searching and deep thinking while I was sitting in my quiet place on my throne—the place we all do our best thinking– and it struck me. This thought had not occurred to me beforehand because I have a Toddlernado whose destruction timing has been honed and perfected—she is also teaching her skills to the babies so they will be able to take up the mantle when she has done her duty. As fun as it would have been to have the walls of the white house colored with permanent marker, crayon, pen, pencil and probably poo, it is not to be, and I have accepted it. I really, REALLY, want it for the teen years.
I recently learned that I do not like having to chaperone boys and girls who are boyfriend/girlfriend who are young (too young) and by virtue of their age, immature–I would not have invited them over if I had known. It is a loathsome task that I do not want to undertake ever again. The clear solution is to be elected POTUS and have the secret service do it.
We have some work to do. We must band together to make my life easier. We must cease our rage, come to terms with our disappointment, dry our tears and eat ice cream—it will fill in all those empty spaces in your soul. Look to the future and the promise that it holds for each of us.
#Amyforpresident #POTUS #POTUS2020 #POTUS2024 #POTUSwhenever