How to fold a towel in 500 easy steps: Okay, it only feels like that many…
1. Pick up towel off floor
*optional grumbling about towels that are always on the floor, not the hamper, not hung up so they don’t get mildew-y, no! On the floor *sometimes* next to the hamper, but never in it.
2. Gather the rest of the towels because you might as well…plus washing them one at a time is a bit ridiculous.
3. This next step is probably the easiest, and can *almost* be done indefinitely. Wash towel(s) –who knows maybe you are living wild and only washing one at a time–
4. This step is almost as easy as #3 and can actually go on forever…or at least until you need the dryer for undies (can’t always buy new ones after all) Dry towel(s)
5. Remove towel(s)
6. Store towel(s) in laundry basket, chair or couch (whatever works) for 3-100 days
7. Hold towel lengthwise, fold once in half
8. Fold in half again
9. Fold into thirds, you know, because you’re fancy
10. Set towel aside
11. Grab another towel and repeat steps 7-10
12. Place towel on top of previous towel, making a stack
13. Realize that the first towel is no longer folded, but is being used as a cape for a toddler.
14. Repeat steps 7-11 twenty times using only 3 towels.
15. Distract toddler twins by feeding them mini chocolate chips
16. Set freshly folded towel down to start a new stack
17. Fold towel #2
18. Set on pile only to realize, twins have escaped the high chairs and are now hugging the clean towels with chocolate covered hands and faces.
19. Take towels from toddlers
20. Debate on whether they still pass as clean.
21. They do, repeat steps 7-10
22. Move pile to higher ground
23. Take a bathroom break–this bladder isn’t what it used to be
24. Return to find towels scattered
25. Remember that twins can climb and they help each other
26. Cry a little when towel stack no longer exists
27. Debate the need for towels
…do nudists still need towels?
28. Wad towels in semi-folded formation
29. Rush towels to cupboard (with helpers)
30. Shove them in, no longer folded and pretty, but put away.
31. Realize it never ends because toddlers can climb and push chairs where they want. Repeat all steps forever.
Who knew folding towels could be such good cardio…or take so many hours/years…